snippets and free-streaming thoughts: an ode to matt (mostly)

REASONS TO BE THANKFUL FOR MY HUSBAND (i promise i won't be mushy)

1. he is supporting me as I'm losing my mind in an attempt to run a half marathon. i've mentioned before: i am not a runner. at all. not once has he made fun of me. if you know matt, he drips with sarcasm at almost all times of the day, but he hasn't made fun of this one time. he cooks for me when i have to run at night. that is possibly the single best thing about this experience. i came home one night, and he had taken some napa cabbage and green cabbage and turned it into something wonderful. props to lancaster farm fresh  for our awesome and different vegetable shares, and to Emeril for his BAM! seasoning! yum! i would have never eaten napa cabbage on purpose, and now it is one of my favorite vegetables:)

NAPA CABBAGE

chop 1/2 head napa and 1/2 head green cabbage; set aside

saute garlic and onion in EVOO

add 2 cups chicken stock, maybe a little white wine

reduce by half

add cabbages, S&P, and BAM!

braise until tender

yum!

2. while i was in africa, i was invited (sort of) by bekah to go to a blogging conference for women in hershey. i was interested immediately. who doesn't want to spend three days with great women who love to write, drink coffee, and eat dessert? i haven't written seriously since my "english major" days at college, but i miss it tremendously. i made decisions in my life since then that weren't healthy, and one of the consequences was that i lost my creativity. but it wasn't lost, it was just locked away where it couldn't get hurt like the rest of me did. when i went to haiti, i started this blog. through it, pieces of my former self started to shine through. i feel like a part of myself is FINALLY returning. point being: i got home and decided that i wanted to go. however, it's expensive. and we did just get back from africa. i signed up for a ridiculous amount of call over the next several weeks to pay for it. i decided that if i got called in this past weekend, i'd take it as a sign and today i'd sign up. i didn't get called in. :( matt gave me a confused look and asked why i'd leave something that could impact my future to fate or destiny. he didn't understand, and encouraged me to go anyway. so last night, while watching the sad, sad giants-colts game, i signed up! SO EXCITED!!!!

3. ok, this has nothing to do with matt. it's just something that is on my mind right now. it's 10:45am on monday, and all of my windows are wide open because it's still chilly outside. my pumpkin and mums candle is lit, and the house is quiet (except for aniu, who is barking incessantly at the UPS man who decided to park in front of our house, HER house). i'm on my second cup of coffee with dark chocolate cream creamer, and there is a feeling of peace in the air. 

I LOVE FALL!

The Legend of the Great Toenail

A few months ago, I decided to attempt to run a half-marathon. It was a moment of insanity; some crazy impulse to do something great.  As I get closer to race day, I’m realizing that 13.1 miles is WAAAAAAAY too long to walk, skip, hop, or jump on one leg, much less try to run! It isn’t exactly fun for me, but I’m learning a lot about myself.

Last Sunday, my sister-in-law and I ran/jogged/walked 8 miles. Around mile 4, my feet started to hurt. A lot. I could feel blisters forming on my toes, and my heart sank as I realized that I had to run/jog/walk 4 more miles! *sigh*

When I got home, I noticed that my great right toe hurt worst of all. Monday I decided to wash off my toenail polish and face what was underneath: a creeping blackish blueish nastiness. My worst fear was realized. My toenail is going to fall off.

MY TOENAIL IS GOING TO FALL OFF!!!!

As I walked back from getting my hair cut today, I couldn’t stop staring at the ugly toenail that invaded my flip-flops. All because I wanted to do something good for myself. Now I’m left with a dead toenail and constant throbbing in my shoes every time I run. And for what?!?!

My journey to SA was kind of like this race. I never exactly wanted to go to Africa. However, when the opportunity presented itself, I knew I had to go. All of the time leading up to the actual trip excited me, terrified me, and prepared me.

I traveled to Africa very American. My heart desired to help others. God has definitely been preparing me for something great. But my mind wasn’t there yet. There was so much that I wanted to do. For myself. I realized that I am a very selfish person. Every decision I make is for the good of myself or my family. Then I experienced Africa.

A bruise started spreading across my American ego. It slowly crept along the edges while I was in Africa, but since I’ve been home it has begun to invade my center. My selfish lust is starting to peel off, little by little. Like my toenail. It is going to take a long time to fall off. In fact, it may never totally fall off. But the process has begun, and there is nothing that I can do to stop it. However, underneath lies something fresh. Something new and uncharted and great. I wish that I could just bypass the bruise and jump to the “new me.” Start a new chapter of my life.

But I can’t just yet. So I run on….

the resurrection plant and me.

we did a bit of smuggling in SA. nothing major (well, not in MY mind anyway!). we brought back some giraffe biltong so that our friends and family could say they tasted this adorable creature. it's gross, by the way. lol!

we also smuggled back a plant, which i'm assuming could get us (meaning me) in some pretty big trouble. it was just a small piece of a plant, but it's the most amazing thing ever. it's called a resurrection plant. it was just a piece of dried up, brown, shriveled nothing. when we got home, we put it in a cup of water by the window. this is what it looked like:

this is what it looked like 2 hours later!:

it's amazing what a little love and attention can do. this plant did so much from so little. went from being dead to alive again. like lazarus. like jesus.

we've had an interesting week back. the day after we got home, we opened up our home to a family friend. he's going through some tough stuff, and he needed a place to stay. inside, he's dying. there's not alot there. but with God's grace, he can live again, can get through this rough, dry season of his life and flourish. hopefully we can be the sun and water, so that God can help him grow.

my two weeks in africa was my sun and water. i was feeling a little lost before i went. like i was starting to shrivel up inside. fear of the future was starting wear me down. ahhh...such an american mentality. where will my life be in 5 years? i should be wondering, what am i doing with my time RIGHT NOW?

now i feel like i'm regrowing. resurrecting in a sense. i still have no idea what i'll be doing even 6 months from now. that's ok though, because i have an idea of how i want my time to be spent NOW. i'm meant to be loving and nourishing someone else for the time being, and there is nothing else i want to do. God is in control of what that leads to, and i have to make a conscientious decision every day to be ok with that, and to trust Him.